I'm glad girls dont get visible erections
But, it would have made life so much easier...
Its like Laser Tag, but more fun because it ends in sex
and while your girlfriend wears your relationship pants, i'll be wearing my ecstasy pants
are you sure you're not interested? he's the dunkin donuts employee of the month.
Whatever is fine with me, as long as I am dressed in green and end up shitfaced.
well, I suppose if I had to pick a penis to represent the american public, yours would be it
Just when you think you're never going to have sex again, BOOM you're naked in bed with a guatemalan
Memorial weekend is going to be amazeballs. Jungle juice, drunk guys, and my vagina being stimulated by the vibrations of a 4 wheeler. I mean there is no way that can go wrong.
I'm so prepared to puke on walk of shame tomorrow that I'm putting a toothbrush and toothpaste in my purse the night before. And to think, my dad thought I wouldn't make it in college.
Lazier than spoon feeding yourself popcorn and debating adult diapers so you don't have to leave the mentalist marathon on tv?
I JUST ATE A STRANGE BURRITO, I SHOULD NOT BE EXPECTED TO KNOW ANYTHING RIGHT NOW.
I'm actually pinning crap for Friendsgiving like a boss right now. These bitches better show up.
Don't judge me 👊🏼 his dick just whispers my name
You were yelling at a tree saying it should be in the forest..
Don't judge me.
Finally hooked up with Ryan. Now I know why they call him “Beast Mode”. So. Many. Orgasms.
Randomize
