Lost. The hour! Funtime!!!!
You were partners with her mom and you began calling her "the Robert Horry of beer pong" You also kept telling her that she was hotter than her daughter.
I just threw up a christmastime peep. I am literally already sick of the holidays.
he was fingering the outside of my pants..i knew that was my cue to leave
well after he sqeezed a zit off his forearm i got the hell outta there
you knoww youre high when you are just as concerned as the contestants on ultimate cake off as they move their 250 lbs cake over the ramp
it's not like this is the first time she's brought a guy home and I'm the one who hooks up with him
i'm not even sure i have knees anymore. that awesome.
Idk every story shes told me thats started with "back when i was a lesbian" has been my new favorite story
By the way, do you realize that you asked me how much you could get for your eggs last night. And once you learned the price said that you had plenty to share.
Dude if i sent you a picture of the inside of my fridge would you be able to break down and explain everything that was in it?
tell your brother to quit sending me his dick pics what am i going to do with them print them out and shove them up my ass???
UHG. i just want to have hot lesbian sex and eat pizza with you.
I just remembered that the guy I slept with last night has "USDA PRIME" tattooed on his ass
All I remember is you shouting "THIS KID IS A FREAKIN' NINJA!!" when he dive rolled over a barbed wire fence and proceeded to ask for his 18th beer.
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