It's like God shit irony all over that family
I love wearing low cut shirts cuz then when class gets boring, I can look down and admire my breasts.
you wouldn't come out from under your bed because you said there were six-armed bears everywhere.
ohhh that explains the pepperonis I found in my sock drawer this morning...
no it doesn't.
I was just handed a mimosa the size of my head. Stay tuned.
Im not gonna remember this tomorrow but the real money is in coke i wanna get a dark wood desk and cell coke then i can own taco bell and the xxl chalupa will be mine
Okay well someone asked "IS HE HOMELESS?" about me so I need to try and find somebody.
I've been drunk in my life. But I've never been "crying in 5 Guys at 1 in the afternoon" drunk
Told my fifteen year old cousin's friend what to sext his girlfriend last night. He was scarred for life but she fucking loved it.
On your day off do you wanna get wine drunk and take a few episodes of Jerry Springer way too seriously with me?
The moral of the story is this:the last shot of the night is always a mistake
It might be the most honest thing I've ever said. ...or I've had 3 vodka tonics.
I'm going to get drunk, come back, call my grandma, and eat all those scrambled eggs.
I dont understand why i cant be a wizard
I hate when pretentious people talk bad ab corn dogs
FUCK ME I smuggled weed onto a plane by accident
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