I promise you 4 toothbrushes taped together and lube does not do the trick
Just saw someone buying TWO six packs of O'Doul's. WHY ??
On the plus side this hangover is the tipping point that finally convinced my lazy ass to get some sunglasses.
he needs a life. he was like frothing at the mouth to cockblock you
PS- I just ordered a two man zebra costume. Would you like to be my back end?
I CRIED after phone sex. Am I gay?
Last night I woke up and the national rep of his frat was sucking my toe.
She said she had a surprise for me and sent me a video of her having sex with some fat dude. It was a mood killer
is it too much for me to say that i have a ziplock bag with ice in it in my underwear?
You cried for a while then lifted lots of weights then cady's ex put glitter on your tits and then you took a nap. I got you pizza and brought you home. Nothing too exciting.
I just jerked him off with one hand while holding my wine glass with the other and watching Congo. I feel like this was a preview to my married life...
He is a beautiful butterfly covered in tattoos and naked.
Is it weird that I was turned on when he told me he had a vasectomy?
I knew you two would hit it off
Dude, don't beat around the bush. We're fucked and you know it.
You tried to chase every shot with a blueberry.
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