Billy Mays is dead too!
Somewhat annoying American icons better be watching their backs
Were making a bet for which twin will relapse while in rehab. I'm going for the chubbier one
he said that he wanted to outsmoke the rain, I don't know what that means but I'm gonna go help him
EMERGENCY: IS A KAREOKE RICKROLL ACCEPTABLE IN THE YEAR 2011?
We have sex, then we talk about foreign policy. Its a win-win.
Jumped in the kebab van and said he was Ultimate MasterChef. Incurred wrath of six angry Turks. I got free chips.
Ok seriously I'm living off of bologna but I have 4 handles in the freezer.
I remember just enough about last night to wish I didn't remember anything.
Super awkward when the coworker you made out with in exchange for molly last weekend keeps coming over to your cube and trying to talk to you
I'm going to stop at grocery on the way home. I'm CRAVING wine from a sippy cup. We have neither wine nor sippy cups.
You opened the door to your apartment and shrieked "THE CHAIR IS GONE!" then punted a bag of votive candles
he’s basically the devil with a fuck boy hair cut and chlamydia
How naked do you want me to be?
I feel like the physical embodiment of the pot leaf eyes smiley face
Used my power pack to charge my vibrator so I didn't have to unplug my switch or my galaxy lamp. TECHNOLOGY!
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