so it turns out you can rearrange the letters in "scottsdale" to spell "milf city." who knew?
maybe i would like her more if 99% of her sentences didn't start with "yesterday when i was reading twilight..."
she said i was amazing, then i left to room to take the rubber off and came back to find her masturbating with my xbox controller while niko got a call from roman.
Just rolled over and realized my vodka goggles are not as functional as my beer goggles
her name was charlotte except you kept calling her chatroulette and yelling at her to show you her boobs
i had to take off my light up shamrock necklaces, my professor was getting suspicious.
Dude you don't even know. I spilled the tequila and it took 4 people to stop me from drinking it off the table.
STOP TELLING PEOPLE I PEED ON YOU
That was the #1 scariest moment in my life. I have full trust in you, I let you bite my penis for god sake.
I mean honestly, I love naps like Anthony Weiner loves sending dick pics
My Midnight Kiss was a Big Mac.. Happy New Year
He was on top and as he finished he yelled "I love gold" , so yeah I'm seeing him later tonight
Some nights you just end up digging your mcdouble out of the trash and eating it. it happens.
Where is Holly?
Nevermind. i can hear her having sex two doors down
dude I fucking saw you snort tequila
Randomize
