i hope S**** or M***** or someone took note of the fact that i was drinking popov like water and could no longer form sentences. i mean, dont get me wrong i had been thinking about boning R*** long before my sobriety left the picture but the number of reasons not to, outweighed the temptation and without sir robert burnett as R***'s wingman, it would have never happened
Jennifer and I just ate like 4 jello shots w/ a guy dressed as inspector gadget. We are still in the capital building btw
I love Texas.
I don't understand why some guys want to have a huge conversation while standing at the urinal with cock in hand...
I bought a bottle of 100 proof for the storm. I am going to drink until I pass out. I'm taking bets. 1:30 pm is the over/under.
I went to the bathroom like 8 times and each time I looked in the mirror and tried saying "I am sober." I burst out laughing when I got to "so-" every time. If you can't convince yourself, you can't convince anyone else. Fuck it, I'm going upstairs and drinking more.
You make your fellow Jews happy.
I need to hang out with girls who make more mistakes
every time you want to hook up with a guy who has a girl friend, i'll just give you a freshman
Even tho I saw his penis. He is still a really nice guy.
Weekdays seemed more exciting when I had a drinking problem. Like I had something to look forward to at night.
I'm so incredibly high right now the fact I am texting is nothing short of miraculous. Call the Pope. Hell make me Saint Roy, patron of stoners.
In my top drawer right now, there are see's chocolates, condoms, weed, and my vibrator. One way or another, this is going to be a good night
You literally chaperoned my booty call.
i put frozen meatballs in my drink thinking they were ice cubes and I'm vegetarian wtf
The way I see it, there's 2 types of friends. Those you should do drugs with, and those you really,really shouldn't.
Let's just say, I'm pretty sure you're banned from Skype.... like, forever.
Randomize
