i just spit dirty mouth water on my dentist. and apparently grinning sheepishly and saying "my b" doesn't make it better
If you are in NYC and not seeing anyone, you should come fucke me now because:1 i am not in love with you anymore, 2 i am drunk enough where i won't feel the n eed to kisx you awardly to avoid your beard, 3we have unfinished business that i wpn't get -assed unyil orgass have been had, 4 i really really want to
I used the word aforementioned in my paper. That's an automatic A in community college.
we tried have sex after i gave him a handjob. he wouldnt get hard and kept saying his little boy is broken.. please come get me
I just got asked if I have a rule for sleeping with people. Like they have to buy me dinner first etc...
On that note, do I have a rule?
I'm wayyy too drunk to be in a parade right now
The Wii Fit is already telling me I'm an alcoholic.
Something about a hand job in a car doesn't scream girlfriend
he was once again the drunkest girl at the party
They make twin pack pregnancy tests for girls like us
I get hit on by the prison guards every time i go to see him. Seriously.
I was like can I please fuck your hips back into realignment
I'm to the point of desperation where I stare at customers penis imprints through their pants all day
im in DESPERATE NEED OF A COMPANION RIGHT NOW I’M MOTHER FUCKING TRIPPING SOLID GOLD BALLS
You woke up at like 4 in the morning fell off your bunk bead, yelled at Nic for asking if you were ok, walked to the kitchen, pissed on the keg, and then looked at me and said "Still not worth it" then went back to bed.
Randomize
