ohhh my god. this party should be titled "my hookups of summers past" be expecting some good stories tomorrow
is it bad that the only reason i knew what antidote meant in class today, was from years of playing pokemon?
He kept starring at my ass and repeating "Its Just a beautiful piece of artwork."
everyone has their kryptonite. mine just happens to be 18 year old blonde girls.
Singing high school musical songs with an old Russian woman I met on the bus. What are you doing?
I think he's hit rock bottom. You know it's a low point in life when you cry because you weren't invited to sit in a box car and watch porn with two other straight dudes.
im just laying in bed, eating, getting fat, enjoying eating and getting fat, thinking about how i will probably have to get a fat boyfriend.
His dick is so big it could be an arm rest.
Liquor doesn't fix sad, but it sure as hell lowers my standards for a rebound.
i just got banned from the m&m's website for trying to get poon slayer written on my custom order
I wish there was a morning after pill for dominoes.
I wasn't supposed to sleep w him. So of course I sent him gps location to my bed.
all I want for my birthday is booze and sex toys. don't bother calling if neither of those are included.
Is it bad that I'm not at all bothered by the fact that to some people I'm simply known as the girl that takes her shirt off?
are you the reason the first floor girls' bathroom smells like weed?
Randomize
