we just got in the car and birthday sex is playing
that is a sign the 3 of us should have a threesome
we agree. completely
I do not want to touch your penis after this conversation.
i mean, i stole her boyfriend and beat her snake score on facebook within 48 hours. not her week.
Okay well someone asked "IS HE HOMELESS?" about me so I need to try and find somebody.
All he wants to do is masturbate while I sit there with my big toe up his ass that is not even the worst part of it.
Mmmhmmm sure, nice try, but there's certain wounds that only bj's can heal
Your 'drink of the future' makes sense now- you feel it for atleast 10 hours into the future
I'd say the best part of the party was when you screamed to everyone that you were gettin dome on the reg
bah. we'll see. don't give yourself a boner of false hope.
You missed me roundhouse kicking a lit glow stick out of a guy's mouth last night. You would have been proud.
Hungover in church. I can feel stained glass Jesus judging me.
Well I was kicked out of the bar and woke up on a picnic table. I'd say the night was awesome!
I think this Canadian beach volleyball player might be my soulmate. We could check each other's shoulders for melanoma.
1. I drank goldschlager 2. I fell in a bathtub and hit my head (hard) on a soap dish. 2. I sat in said bathtub talking to a random stranger on vacation from wyoming (who i met at a 711 looking for taquitos) for almost an hour. 3. We got kicked out of said bathtub by owner of bathtub. 4. We had sex.
I need more 20 something year old penis in my life
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