Holy shit! This guy had his hands and feet handcuffed and was scooting across the interstate and we almost hit him because it was so dark. I hate Louisiana.
Ever have a poop and think... that has no business coming out of a human? Like it looks like a sick dog's or a ferral animal's?
I queefed so loud it echoed.
Where'd you guys get the alcohol from?
Oh. Some homeless guy we picked up from I-70. He bought us $400 worth of alcohol in exchange for a shower.
...... wtf.
he actually managed to pick a girl up by telling her that her skirt was ugly and she didnt do a good job with her makeup. thats some seriously low selfesteem
Second wave of rafting ended in a concussion. Don't worry though, the paramedic says it's still not considered a DUI.
i wonder if cab drivers are trained in the art of delivering girls back to their dorms on Saturday mornings. because mine was so nice that he dropped me off at the back of my building so no one would see me.
Then you bent down and whispered, "excuse me mr. Stair, could you please stop moving?"
He's hitting it raw. Might as well stick his dick in a vat of SARS at this point.
He convinced the breakfast vendor to melt twix bars on bacon for me at 4am. He slurred every word. I think I found my prince charming.
I know him enough to fuck him but not enough to give him advice.
we talked about the guy being eaten by the anaconda.. Then I proceeded to blow him
For the record you're an amazing lay and you have great taste in breakfast sandwiches
We're at an agreement where I don't pry and she pretends blissful ignorance
we promised ourselves we wouldn't get too drunk, and what happens? I wake up the next morning with half a mcdouble in one pocket and some barbie clothes in the other.
Randomize
