after we finished, she said she had been a backup performer for Cirque du Soleil. THAT flexible.
I'll bring the barf blanket just in case.
I'm bleeding from my lower lip, and I have bruises around my neck. It was just easier to say I got mugged.
i feel like pizza bites are my only friend right now
We are cuddling. She is so cute when she is too high to be a loud bitch.
they call him the transporter because he'll be your designated driver in exchange for sufficient weed or sex.\n
what about money
no - he has a code he lives by
Just played slippy cup. Flip cup plus slip n slide. What did you do with your fourth of july?
I found a half-finished mass text from my California weekend that said "things I want to rape: you, things, stuff, and le"
I wish him all the best and hope one day he can afford the surgery to remove his head from his ass
I was standing in my mom's kitchen in only my neon green thong, eating pizza over the garbage can, and sobbing while he was yelling at me.
I got high and had sex with reindeer antlers on. It was magical and animalistic. Tia the season.
I've now fucked in every motel room in this small town.
This is not a drill. I need a cape. And a tuxedo. Simultaneously. Repeat. NOT. A. DRILL....
He's gonna fuck me, then his girlfriend is going to come over and fuck me in front of him. And they're smoking me out. Happy birthday to ME
Not only is he funny, he had a REALLY big dick
He's old enough to be your father!
REALLY. BIG. DICK.
Randomize
