Nothings more american than taking a shit with a handgun next to you.
She should get an extra 30 days for that Georgia Rule movie......terrible.
is facebook stalking your hot therapist socially acceptable?
Its a "sake bomb in the bathroom during class" kind of day.
He really thought ahead and just left the tequila in the mail box for late night pickup. Best. Friend. Ever.
I overcharge people for their weed so you can have yours for free, because I care
I took Xanax and it did nothing to me. First sign I'm crazy and actually need it.
Being with her was like shitty sexual fear factor big ass sausage nipples over sized outty belly button i was scared and drunk tell know one
I'm cool with a hey old buddy how have you been want to fuck me in the butt kind of thing
I was packing a bowl naked and her dog just stared at me with pure rage
I completely forgot about the posting of partying pics shortly after adding my gma my dad was like grandma says your all over fb but she doesn't know how to use it. Of course I'm all over her fb. She's got 6 friends I am her newsfeed
I haven't heard from him yet. He's either still asleep (which is entirely plausible..... There wasn't much sleeping happening last night) or he's robbing me blind. But I have renters insurance, so either way, I'm ok with it.
he's spending the night tonight. if i can walk straight tomorrow i'll be pissed.
you know your booty call is really trying when he offers to pay the toll for the bridge you have to cross to get to his house
I boned my sugar daddy for the first time yesterday and now I know why they say guys in their 40s are the best. Also I’m getting a car.
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