i'm not sure what happened. i know i woke up on the floor of his bathroom, then had morning sex with him. dont remember getting to his apt. dont remember much.
morning sex?... maybe not a total mistake then? he seems like a normal person, so rare at BU
oh no, he's far from normal. i know his high school girlfriend. she's CRAZY. and he definitely deals prescription drugs. also. he had sex with me even though i slept on his bathroom floor.
i finished masturbating and realized my blackberry had accidentaly called my grandmother in my pocket during it. awkward...
so explain to me why i woke up in jail this morning
because you opened a jar or pickles and a bag of fritos and layed down in the middle of aisle 7 while singing 'la cucaracha'
no more ever clear
dude so we were eating nacho cheese popcorn and chasing it with cole slaw
by the way nacho cheese popcorn is me making popcorn and then adding milk butter and mac n cheese mix
I don't think you seem to understand this concept. WHEN A GAY GUY HANDS YOU A DAIQUIRI, YOU DRINK IT.
u r missing out we r watching a tranny direct traffic in a gstring
Mcdonalds hasn't even finished serving breakfast yet and u two are getting drunk?
I totally just stopped for a booty call on the way to my parents for easter....good friday is an understatement
First you say "it can't get any worse" and the next thing you know you've shat yourself on Christmas Eve.
just texted my dealer that i could taste the blue but not the cheese. i said i could taste blue.
I'm like 'WOMAN, YOU'RE 62, RESHEATH THOSE COUGAR CLAWS.'
It's brunch. If you find dick at brunch. You an A+ hoe.
He and his ex stood there talking about going to get Chinese food while I was half naked searching for my panties
If you left your bike out in front, I just watched some dude steal it.
It’s like a sexy version of those choose your own adventure books from when we were kids. No matter what you choose, there will be penis!
Randomize
