My scrabble letters just formed failure. Thanks God.
i was in the bathroom puking my brains out, a girl walked in and said "i just came to do the same thing" so i told her i would move over and share the toilet. its better than being alone.
I accidentally screamed the wrong name last night. He stopped for a second, said "fuck it, you're too hot to care," and then continued fucking me.
and you're not allowed to put a penis in you if it's attached to a 26 year old who works at blockbuster
And by that I mean I told her the plot of the first batman movie as my life and it took her like 20 minutes to figure it out
im gonna call it quits for tonight... I am so drunk I dont even have the motor skills to masturbate
so apparently the car got towed with me passed out in the back seat.
I just ran up four flights of stairs in heels, im getting an orgasm tonite.
im just going to wait until i dont feel like the grim reaper is having sex with me
The girl behind me in psych just tapped me on my shoulder to tell me there was a condom wrapper in my hood.
Like, I just want to be naked rolling around in soft things.
Making a me burrito to ward off the cold...and the aloneness of my vagina
Just put on slippers before underwear so you know where my priorities are
my goal is to never have a bac of 0.0 the whole time while in the state of florida, which means i have to chug a beer before i cross the state line
There's so many drinking games in the Olympics.
you missed out this chick was licking her paddle
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