Apparently they shut down a cook out cause people were selling drugsout the drive thru. Nice to be home
Yeah..And after he fingered me, he wiped it on my face and laughed.
ew wtf
winter break is gonna be like a weird mixture of rehab fat camp and holiday cheer.
im going to live freely with my legs opened and my heart closed
Just suggested things for my dad to get my mom for Christmas in terms of "yeah you'll get laid."
Great. My funeral dress now smells of smoke and disappointing sex.
and this is why we should make december sharting awareness month.
All you have to drink is moonshine and ranch. This is bullshit.
I'm watching intervention which is getting me psyched for your birthday. Is that wrong?
I can't feel my tongue. And that means go. Green means go. And you know what Barney says. Green means go and woah means no. DRIIIIINKK
How did you get him out of the shower last time?
Order Taco Bell and leave a trail of burritos leading to his bed.
I know you've been in hospital with meningitis, but last night I walked into a streetlight and bruised my penis so who's really suffering here
Truth be told it's significantly easier to get over someone when they file a police report on you
How did your walk of shame include a trip to Walmart and how did you bump into the cop that arrested you last night there?
Video on mandys page of you drinking upside down was finally put up...too bad all the comments were about me and him fighting in the background while he screamed "BLOW BIG BETSY!'
Randomize
