Ummmm the art teacher neighbor asked me to pose nude for her art class for cash.
Everyone just saw your hickey on TV and on the jumbotron at the hockey game.
Thanks dad.
I was just told by a cop that my party was the most epic party they ever crashed
he told me that my best friend was "one the most attractive people he's ever seen" and wondered why he didn't get a blow job
He was sitting at the table eating ice and said, "I'm pretty sure everyone in my family has nipples."
In the midst of you puking your guts out, you stopped, looked at the globe in front of you and whispered "America.."
AND I JUST GOT FUCKING DAUGHTER ZONED. NO. I'M DONE. I HATE BOYS. ASEXUALITY HERE I COME.
I'm slightly more gay than I thought. I'd go so far as to say I'm a top.
Woke up in the ER with a nurse holding my tongue together inside of my mouth and a shattered jaw, the last thing I remember is opening the 151, care to fill me in?
If we try hard enough and believe in ourselves, we can still make it to Wendy's before they close
2 weeks into this dating someone with money thing and I already don't know if I can go back to the being poor life
I want you to worship my cock.
That's not how you start a conversation.
Look at us. Planning our business meeting. Including snacks like shrooms & trail mix.
She can't take shots?!? Literally if I could list that as a skill on a resume I would
I'm a history major and he's the descendant of TWO presidents. Did you really think I wasn't going to sleep with him?
Randomize
