I didn't know that people actually queef. Is this a real thing?
I believe so, yes.
Would you be offended if I asked if it has happened to you?
I think my plan to not drink this week was just ruined by my mothers discovery of the chat function on facebook
tolerance is too high. going on a liquor strike. ghandi style.
Standing in a circle of girls fistpumping to the word "hospital" while taking shots.... I don't see this ending well, but its fucking fun.
If you have a glass table... Put it up. I don't wanna hurt myself again, I just got my stitches out...
Two word: claymation porn. Think about it.
I don't think I can ever express my appreciation for the things you text me.
In that case, I'll try 2 find a date. But my options are AA friends or fuck buddies.
So we just accidentally broke into a building from the third floor while carrying shovels. The security guards are still very confused
I just paid for weed by taking him to the store to buy cheese so he could make empanadas. Best. Drug deal. Ever.
we just ate hash browns in a nativity scene with baby jesus
I just wanted to tell you that the German word for "dickhead" can also be translated as "ass violin" and I think that's beautiful.
I think our maternal nature is best focused on grown ass men and cats.
Hope everything goes ok. If it makes you feel better, I straightened vomit into my hair and killed a bird earlier.
They left a cherry picker with the keys in it on a college campus, what else were we supposed to do?
Sorry about peeing on your phone last night
Randomize
