so that girl updated her facebook status as "had the worst night ever last night"
um, i could be wrong but i think it might've had something to do with mark drunkenly screaming about her unibrow right in front of her
operation harelip BJ is a go
Who is John, and why is his named carved into our toilet?
too bad being hungover isnt a job. just threw up from 9am to 5pm
She made me put my jeans under her mattress so that I wouldn't leave in the morning while she was still sleeping. Apparently I just look like "that guy".
My broken door handle makes it really inconvient for when i need to puke at red lights.
I'm doing this for my boobs. They miss him.
somehow a sneeze triggered me puking over everyone in the car
how does 'resolution to respect myself more' follow 'he fucks me really hard'?
Is this helping you get pumped up or am I going to have to send you more dick pics?
Calm the fuck down fatty, you can add creme de menthe to a vanilla shake any time of the year
I need to quit being a slut. It's to the point that I got my period today and automatically I Believe I Can Fly popped into my head.
Jesus christ. I put you on speaker when you called me last night and you told me to brush my teeth with a dick.
Responsible things to do when you're too hungover to get out of bed: Breast self exam.
It's official! Naked girl is back and making stir fry. Still not sure she realizes we can see her whole apartment from our balcony. Cheap beer and a show.
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