i'll give you all the meat in my fridge in exchange for 2 condoms.
Little spoons don't ask big questions
I just showed my boobs to our astate representative hahahahahahha
Naturally, I just peed all over the floor. Two guys in front of me looked at me, but i just shrugged. They won't remember either.
The freshman next to me just said "I was rocking out on my way here to Dave Matthews..." I wish I would have passed this class the first time.
i made potato chips in weed oil. what did you do today?
She has an emergency bra in her purse. I'm gonna check no on the 'introducing her to my new boyfriend' box.
I just told him I want him to "take the reins". At least its festive sexting?
Just thought you should know I'm having a reunion tour of Athens this weekend. Minus the weird guy I was fucking last time.
So this is completely apropos of nothing, but I have a feeling that a friend of mine might be a good match for you. Can I set you two up on a date? Oh, and it seems that we live a block away from each other and aren't having sexy times. This is ridiculous. By the way, there's a chance that I might be a tad drunk. Still though, there's a very *good* chance that you and Mr. X would get along.
I literally have nothing else left to cut besides my drug budget; the dark days are among us
She showed up ready for sex all night.. with waters and a meat and cheese tray
You have to commit to sexting. You can't just quit right after I send you pictures of my asshole.
Seriously, come on.
I feel like there's a picture of my ass on the internet right now.
I hate you.
I finally realized he drank way too much when he tried serenading me to the song "come my lady" while slowly and creepily making his way toward me...keeping constant eye contact.
When God closes one door, he opens up a taller, smarter, more successful door, with a bigger cock and nicer teeth.
Randomize
