the smoke from my cigarette strangely resembles what patrick swayzes ghost will look like.
elementary school lunch room party. everyone brings their own lunch and can trade stuff. all juice is booze.
he told my vagina that he was looking forward to meet it
i just called corporate taco bell to ask about the life span of a chicken burrito.
I've gone to the bathroom 3 times. And forgot to pee. 3 times. Let's say we call it a night, I need to be found. I see a fish tank by the bar and some stairs.
She answered the door wearing a blanket and holding a golf club. I was too late for this party.
And the funny thing is when I went to the kitchen this morning, all 4 pizzas were still there in their boxes, untouched. My question to you is: what were we eating last night?
Watermelon juice. Makes everything better. Gin. Wine. EVERYTHING.
Are we in any of the areas with tornados?
Dude, i don't even have pants on yet, it's too early to think about tornadoes.
Dude you filled up a protein shake mixer with White Russians so you didn't have to keep coming upstairs.
I think the paper my teacher just handed back to me had one of his pubes on it, I'm way too hungover for this
He knows whenever I get drunk I'm going to call him and make fun of his major. Its like a reverse booty call.
Update: pile o Coke party starting at approx 4 - 7 and going until 1ish to celebrate our founding fathers and love of cocaine and hatred of everyone\n
Actually we have similar relationship styles aka no relationship... it could work
It's OK, I woke up in a drag queen's bed last weekend. It took me forever to get the glitter out of my cleavage.
Randomize
