before i could say "i'm not that kind of girl", i was.
u downloaded tardy 4 the party
then u started screaming about not wanting nene on the record
he held my hand while i was giving him head. freud's gotta be turning over in his grave
I woke up this morning with a hospital armband on containing all the information off my fake i.d. WTF did we do last night!?!?
I just learned you can mail a coconut. I'll be over in 3 days with the rum.
smelt my brothers hands when he got home to see if he lied about smoking again...he didn't lie but i definitely didn't expect to smell some other girls vagina.
I know this is random but to this day I regret not having sex with you on that atv on the top of that mountain underneath the American flag.
Pretty sure I scared him off for good. The lesbian in me is ecstatic.
Omg. Some dude is jacking off in Kelly's bathroom.
I'm sorry. I just realized our 'big night out' ended up being you driving my high ass to get burritos and back.
I'm the only one who goes to a bar and leaves with an extra twenty bucks and a pumpkin.
My balls are resting on a block of frozen cheese in a sealed bag
Bored of what? I stayed up all night researching sex toys because I'm excited to do things with you that I haven't done in 29 years of having a body.
I don’t know what he is but he sure can suck a lollipop.
what the fuck happend anyway? How did it go from smoothies after work to blacking out?
Randomize
