oh my god. my mom just found my pipe. she thought it was a dildo.
like i said, there should be a sitcom about your family.
I'm picking out a half way decent top so if I get arrested I'll have a respectable mug shot photo. Always be prepared.
We asked "Is that Andy puking in the bushes, its 7 AM" he looks up and goes "It's okay guys, its 7:30"
She bent the beer can with her tongue. I'm scared of what she'll do to me
She is just riding on my slutty coat tails.
The heaters out again. Makin a fire in thebroke toilet for warmth.
We had a 30 min conversation last night about whether or not to bone that girl with a lisp to see if she moans with one...
By the third Id pass back i figured the bouncer had fucked one of us.
Fuck that. I'm not afraid to die. I'll prove you can survive on a bagel bites and rum diet.
I'm listening to Michael Jackson while drinking vodka, alone. Honestly, l wish I could Moonwalk my way back to when I knew wtf was going on in my life.
I only know one person in my class and that's my dealer.
She didn't get a tit job, she's just wearing the right size bra for once
Its official. The summoning powers of my vagina are unmatched by anything in this world
Just heard a 15 minute program on the radio about how cases of gonorrhea in the throat and rectum are skyrocketing in the US. Almost crashed laughing so hard.
Sorry, who is this??
Of course he’s dumb. He’s got a 9 inch dick! There’s not enough blood in his body for a big dick and a big brain. It’s science
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