I have this horrible feeling I'm going to blackout tonight & only be able to say 'wasabi bobby' over & over again.
would you object to me following you around all the time with a video camera and selling it to TV? Your life could make me millions.
i took it, then realized you live 3 ours away. but if you start driving now, im almost positive I'll still be hard
I don't remember much, but my night is dated pre-Jaeger and post-Jaeger. Also, my boss may or may not have tucked me in.
She may be a slut, but at least she's a dedicated slut. She's always super tan and has her shit shaved in really cool designs.
I chugged a beer while I was riding him and he told me it was the sexiest thing he has ever seen. this guy knows class when he sees it.
NEVER PUT A LIT CIGARETTE BEHIND YOUR EAR
Promise me, at my funeral, you will re-enact our human sledding incident of 2011....you can use my dead body as said sled.
Is it sad that I have better conversations with his roommate before or after sex than I do with him in general?
Only Jon could get an entire commuter train to chant "Ride! Jon! Home!" to get a girl in bed.
My taste buds are fucked up, everything tastes like fire after last night.
Would you mind pretending to be lesbians just for like three emails?
I walked out and he was covered in jelly, slithering around the floor. I don't know how to process that.
So? Find me, fuck me, then you can go to sleep and I'll leave.
Wow. That's the most amazing thing anyone has ever said to me.
I have had flashes of 69ing, a strawberry flavored condom and begging him to sleep naked.
Randomize
