idk hes just been lookin at me weird all night
he probably just wants to cut your skin off and wear you like a body suit
Tip #47, don't trim the bush when you have the shakes!
I needed to borrow my dads nail clippers and next to it was an industrial size box of condoms if that wasnt bad enough I dropped the clippers behind the bed and discovered hundreds of used condoms
I'm drunk. And at a vegan cafe. You would hate it. Don't tell my hipster friend but I kinda hate it too.
my mom just called and warned me someone is trying to serve me, i feel like i'm playing an extreme game of hide and go seek these next weeks
Horny girl and non horny girl have different views on life
Um, so I couldn't say it in person, but if you find my underwear in your office. Sorry. I couldn't find them, so yea.
The shit show didn't end. it just relocated itself to my apartment instead of yours.
you also need to get my treadmill fixed.
Im wearing a bra. Made of paint.
idk wtf was in that bud but I was talking to my dead dog last night bro holy shit
My skirt was too short for the church and I brought my flask to the Scrooge play. God bless us, everyone!
The thing about pooping in the woods during hunting season is you never know if someone's watching you.
I'm so glad you haven't fallen off any more yachts
i spent my Thursday drinking before noon and not wearing pants
Congratulations! We have a period
Randomize
