I just got asked by a man in the alley if i would like to buy 50 dollars of meat for 20 bucks. Its been a weird day.
As a matter of fact my bong is named Hulkamania brother
I don't know where I am, but I'm drinkin & I like these people
you stumbled up the stairs in your heels, pulled 23 one-dollar bills out of your bra and then went and puked in the toilet. didnt say a single thing to me the whole time
He's going to let me keep his bowl in my car. Does that make us Facebook official?
Tommorow.Eggs Benedict and surprise blowjob day
She has the perfect pussy. Looks like a paper cut with a puff of cotton candy on top.
Pain in my heart, regret in my vagina
it still weirds me out that Robin Thicke is Alan Thicke's son
He handed me a temporary tattoo and said cover the hickey up with this
I've made this amazing blanket/pillow cocoon combo and I am set for life in here.
He just stays over and makes naked pancakes in the morning
We grabbed as many adult diapers as we could and made a run for it.
Congratulations! You can now legally do that thing you said you never do again!
THANKS! I'M SO EXCITED TO NOT DO THE THING
OMG YOU GO OUT AND NOT DO THAT THING, GIRL! I SUPPORT YOU 100%!!!
you woke me up at 1am last night high on cough syrup to tell me jay z was an idiot for cheating on beyonce
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