i barfeds in our rink
I couldn't get internet on my iPod in this hotel room for porn, so I made due with UFC.
I'm not sure what to say to that.
you'll never believe how fucking awesome rain man is when you're stoned.
We went out. i got lost. dunno where they were. they slept in the car. i slept in an outdoor shower. i dont know anything else.
she said we were using the spray butter as air freshener
Already puke and ralleyd and dressed like a bear.
FYI, Sammie and I made the executive decision that we're getting a pet octopus and keeping it in the ballpit. Just thought you should know.
He needs to seriously stop texting me at 3am for sex. Late night and early morning hours are for the guys who DON'T bust a nut in the first 5 minutes of making out.
Yeah minute men are best for late afternoons when you're inbetween running errands and have nothing to do.
I will always make you feel special and slightly offended. That's my job.
A blind man just put his face in my cleavage. I'm also crying.
Is it really bad that my last patient offered to fuck my brains out if I gave her IV morphine...and I gave her my phone number and told her when my shift is over?
Well puke fest 2014 just happened
Imagine the quality of nudes you could send with a selfie stick
of all the things that should kill me, scurvy wont be one of them
The cl.oudds are foaming a really big pen.Is OMG.
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