i love rice pilaf. whoever invented that i would give them a hug.
i was just singing like a virgin out loud my mom told me to stop kidding myself
He had the Transformers symbol tattooed to his chest. We had to do it doggy style so I could laugh into my pillow instead of his face.
and unfortunately for you, hallmark doesnt make a "sorry i was getting a blowie in the backseat of your car while you were driving, projectiled my jizz onto your hand, and caused you to crash" card
Woke up and went out for a cigarette and it was dead quiet. It was like the world just knew how many mistakes were made last night.
She sucked my dick when I had a concussion. It was the coolest feeling ever but the doctor said it was a bad idea. He's obviously gay.
He fucked volume into my hair. It was amazing.
I'm glad the dog doesn't judge me for doing leftover lines and watching George of the Jungle at 10 am
His blow is so strong I threw up. Buy it. I'm in nursing school I know what I'm talking about.
Coming out of the blackout mid beej was nice. Seeing her face was not.
You remember that guy i fucked in Ireland who stopped in the middle to talk about why he had 8 pillows on his bed? Yeah he's following me on twitter...
No, that was the night I helicoptered my dick to oncoming traffic. Im talking about the night I ran naked down the street.
He showed up to a booty call with 2 tea bags, but no condom...
She'll feel so accomplished if she finally gets to bang me.
Overall a good night - broke my toe giving that cop a blowjob though...so there's that...
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