so i did it. i barked while i was ejaculating. not a word was said by either of us afterwards.
so how much did i say i owed you?
$5 and a new fuck buddy.
We better get laid next semester cause I prayed hard
I even walked 30 feet with my eyes closed from two love rocks so that we get some cock
Hows this for an invention: a toilet that weighs your poop
He told me he had more lines than a plaid shirt
I just bought a CD. I feel like a traitor to my generation.
They've started ranking girls from "paper-bag" to "I just came." Please come get me
a garbage man just dropped off my phone and wallet. he found them in the trash this morning.
I made him recite stats from the playoffs game last night before I would go down on him.
Buying a large dominoes pizza for a wasted 3 mile walk is the best bad idea ever. My mouth is on fire, probably broke my hand, and i may or may not have eaten street pizza.
How did you break your hand eating pizza?
Boxes are hard to see rocks through.
Under someone's bed. Not sure whose. I think they're sleeping in it.
I'm sorry but I require more work than your hamster. I need food, a minimum of 5 pillows, and I need to be played with daily.
I need a thor helmet and I need to find my heavy duty drinking mug
Your mother liked my album on facebook that's only filled with drunk pictures. I don't know what to feel about this
whats our policy on dating high schoolers?
we dont have a policy but im pretty sure the state of michigan does
of all the things that should kill me, scurvy wont be one of them
Randomize
