that's fine. btw we still need $500 for the donkey...
i want to have as much fun as i did last weekend. but plus the condom and minus the fear.
It's only slutty when someone else does it. It's okay if it's us though
In a min. With a stripper at the hospital. Business. Not pleasure.
My asshole is basically a geyser at this point. Minus the excitement. Plus blood.
Just the amount of girls he locked himself in my room woth says your gonna have to take a cab bro. I don't think he's going anywhere
I feel like im becoming the girl who only drunk texts him. I would be in the dog house, if situations like this had dog houses.
Did we do anything stupid last night besides hook up with our ex girlfriends?
I have the WORST cramps EVER. I think this is gods way of saying 'you're welcome, last warning. stop being a slut.'
So I'll bring my machete and we can smoke your shit.
Out of context, that is a hilariously scary message.
You made me take a photo of you under the stairs at the bar. "Look I'm Harry Potter."
We could have a classy candlelight sonic dinner with fireball cocktails if you leave now. Twat tickler centerpieces.
last night you told me I had a dark, salty butthole
Company meeting and there he was. Felt a little weird like 'last night you were telling me how your dick loves me, and now we're listening to a report on sales figures'.
It finally happened my mom knowingly gave me money to buy drugs i knew this day would come\n
Randomize
