Changed my mind. Wearing a dress. Casual, with a side of breasts.
I've really got to stop smuggling half full bottles of beer out of bars in my purse.
In the library. Still drunk. Shoes missnig. Term paper due in fiften minutes. Iff I puke u think theyll throw me out?
It's been 5 months since I last wore a condom.
Not including when spray tanning
I think im definitely allergic to shell fish. Or hungover. Probably both.
This just became a night full of adventures...and by adventures I mean hitting people with my car
We boned on a bench in a park, french people were walking by cheering us on. Totally acceptable
Now that weed is legalized There needs to be reusable bags for people to pick up with. All this plastic is so bad for the environment and a waste
I sobered up and saw I was with the fat one and you had left laughing with the hot one. You're a terrible wingman, but an excellent manipulator
trust me. coming from a bonafide dirtbag, this dude is up to shady shit
He sent me a pic of her engagement ring and then STILL asked for nudes.
All I know for sure is, I went to bed drunk and I woke up in a relationship..I think I need to reevaluate my drinking skills.
I can feel the shame as I walk down your hallway.. good night
I did a line off of, and then danced on top of a table older than this country.
Harvard is great.
when you come over can you bring tequila and my birth control? Thanks girl!
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