Does having sex in the men's bathroom on the boardwalk count as having sex on the beach?
she then came into the room and yelled I'M GOING TO BE A COCK BLOCK for 5 minutes
Just got the orientation leader spot. For the first two days, I will be one of the best looking guys on campus. The freshman girls will be so disappointed they settled for me when everyone else comes back.
Just tried to chase Captain Morgan with water...this whole drinking alone business is getting harder to do.
Mark is going to get hypothermia. he is shirtless eating snow bc he "doesnt want to be dehydrated" tomorrow. youre in charge.
I think my penis ruined a perfectly good friendship.
They are chanting tits for freedom and I'm highly considering
This is going to be the summer remembered forever as the giant 3 month long mushroom trip.
Found a single cinnamon toast crunch between my butt cheeks. We did work last night
This is a rough morning for me
No, rough is puking in your froyo cup next to a five year old and her grandma.
some girl at the bar told me my beard would tickle every inch of her body till she joy puked her face off.... that was so random and odd i just had to buy her a drink for having the guts to say it to me. WTF
Sorry it's taking so long, it's harder to take an ass pic with an iPad than you think
Are you the reason I woke up without pants?
She woke up next me in bed and told me to stop driving so fast.
He's finally divorcing her, so naturally he tells me that we're not exclusive anymore. His penis 'wants what it wants' apparently.
Randomize
