He had some BAD nuttage
Nuttage?
It's like cleavage......... but different
Fell asleep in bio again. Sometimes i feel like college is just one really expensive nap.
I don't know where I am but there are firefighters
I couldnt decide if i wanted to pee first or vomit. So i Peed sideways while throwing up into the tub.
who the fuck is that kid sitting with you...
I don't have any fucking idea. I woke up and he was there. I'm kinda creeped out.
Was waiting for the adderal to kick in then realized I had been brushing my teeth for eighteen minuites
He took me to the bathroom in the gay bar to "just cuddle." Fool me once, shame on you. Fool me twice...well...
She said, "awww, you're so sweet" after I started putting on a condom. How many STDs have I just contracted?
and it seems i've caught your masturbating bug. thanks.
I can't wait till we are old and wrinkly and I can turn to you and ask, "Remember when you Rick Jamesed the shit out of that couch??"
Did you or did you not grab my boob while I was making out with the foreign kid?
Amanda, I can 99.9% assure you i'm probably never going to bang your mom
I DON'T LIKE THAT SENTENCE
Do you ever get so high you're like vibrating
he asked if he should bring the trash can into the room.. apparently i shoved my finger all over his face and said.. shhhh dont talk... just take your pants off.
I think drunk me saved him in my phone as "beautiful man" to play a joke on sober me
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