I wish there was an iPhone app to help you with your shitty personality.
i was looking up hair salons in ithaca for the wedding and one is a hair salon/ sake bar! you can have sake or champagne while you get your hair done!
question, how would one sake-bomb while getting hair done without getting a horrible haircut?
what if the hokey pokey really is what its all about?
im pretty sure while i was fucking her my dog was fucking her dog too
there is no way i'm buying plan b and condoms at the same time
no do it! it shows that you acknowledge your mistakes and you are proactively working towards a solution.
I've broken several federal laws in the name of sex.
I froze in his sixty one degree room but i came so hard. Like fucking the eskimo god.
You told them that the brownies were safe, and then pointed to a passed out Ryan and said "see?"
I dreampt that we were shooting zombies while we having sex. Is that normal?
Have you picked out a bathroom stall in which to fuck? Since you've got all this free time before her plane lands...
Ryan got so drunk he gave a hobo $20 and I had to zip tie him to the bed so he doesn't out stupid himself
Dude you better come get your girl, she's sitting here eating a tub of pasta salad muttering to herself about gypsies.
Finally liberated my Star Trek DVD from my booty call's house. Captain Kirk would be so proud.
Bro I just got a hand job playing tiny wings.. Hell yea
Do you think it's my receding hair line that makes all the milfs attracted to me??
Randomize
