I wanna bring you to show and tell
thank god he doesn't hang out with everyone else i've had sex with
well, yeah, he can't fit the whole neighborhood in his apartment
turns out gay frats are just like normal frats, only with more v-necks
Just farted cum and thought I shit myself. Crisis averted tho
He probably has his cowboy hat on, that's his house hat.
Because I can't get laid, I'm day-drinking and hunting squirrels in the backyard. You can take the girl out of Montana...
ders ninda duuude pooring goden shots ov glory. I see em an i dont but there hear.
are you attempting voice recognition while drunk again?
It's only slutty if you don't have his number. Unless there's a full moon. Then anything goes.
All I remember is a very aggressive two-stepper who inadvertently made me give myself a black eye with my own beer
You kept calling yourself a spider monkey... Then ran to the bathroom to "prepare for the main event"
I made him dinner in just his cowboy hat and my boots after we did it...you should see his face :)
Blunts beyotch
What? Joints? Blunts?
I'll refer you to my previous text: "Blunts beyotch"
Riddle me this: why did I wake up next to a stuffed sword fish?
Can we skype so I'm not drinking alone?
Not gonna make it. His stripper neighbors are playing a Super Bowl drinking game that involves removing my clothes
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