Is it 'vaginas' or 'vaginae?'. Either way there were a shit ton of them.
we just got in the car and birthday sex is playing
that is a sign the 3 of us should have a threesome
we agree. completely
Just come over and take your pants off. 35 mins tops. You'll be home before midnight cinderella
No one knows who he is but he hasn't missed a shot in beer pong yet. He's dressed as lance armstrong and is tearing shit up.
Do you know how hard it is to write about pediatric crohn's when we're trying to figure out the keg situation for graduation?
thanks for at least making it out of the pool before you threw up
my knee is completely bruised from kneesliding into the bowling ball. bowling for creativity points was a win
God, for the last time, no I did not break my nose doing a keg-stand just for a nose job.
We need to get her a baby shower present. And no, a blow up sex doll with her dead boyfriends picture stuck to it, is not appropriate.
You're the only person I know who could blow literal chunks, laugh about it, then proceed to shotgun another beer. Love you champ.
Please don't call my dad a fuckpuppet, I feel like that would be awkward to explain later.
You know more about his cock specs than his childhood. Proud of you
We have an albino peacock in our apartment. It's beautiful.
Scratch it being beautiful, bitch just stole my McDonalds. Call animal control.
I can't tell if my need for dick is more than my want to strangle him
I just found a bag of chex mix in my clutch
You were feeding it to the bartender last night
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