she's got a whisker from her dead cat taped to the wall. I'm pretty sure that about sums it up...
I mean, once you get beat with a dildo you can't look at someone the same
I deem it safe for us to drink together again.
They dropped the charges?
Yeppers. Come drink beers.
Do you think she will like "you don't have to swallow this time" gift certificates for Xmas?
you dont understand this isnt a sit at a sports bar eating wings and having a beer night. this is a show up to the bar with a fith of Jack and just let what happens happen kinda night. im expecting to smack a bouncer
Ok let me change into clothes i can run in
Why did the fire extinguisher taste lemony?
People were drinking out of 26ers with straws, and somewhere someone yelled "fill me with dicks!" I'm home.
A reason for us to be drunk all week National Singles Week
I'm sure it's not the worst thing to ever come out of my ass
We shouldn't eat pizza in the pool
We r drinking tequila out a glass bottle and smoking weed underwater, pizzas the least of our concern
I just got a get of my turf look from a hooker. Apparently, Ninja Turtles T-shirt+Jeans+Flip-Flops=Hooker Gear. Woot.
I need to wear something that says I would have sex with you but I'm not going to
FYI the blow job was for papa johns pizza
I regret 8000% nothing
oh so have I but I'd still suck a dick or 20 in the name of freedom.
You were holding onto her boobs like you were adrift at sea and they were the only flotation devices
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