What's the procedure for failed threesomes? Do I friend her on facebook this morning?
So Delta doesn't take cash. I used my card to buy a drink and asked the attendant if she could leave it open.
She passed out in my bed last night before anything happened. She felt really bad about that, so she gave me head when we woke up this morning.
I might not be able to enter cuba but that doesn't mean that a cuban can't enter me
All of the sudden your world had become nothing but the sum of visible dicks. Welcome to life.
I'm going to go out on a limb and say last night was a success, also the neighbors are counting down the days until we move out.
"I wasn't planning on buying a chicken, but I bought it anyway." --some guy on the bus with a chicken
"Yeah, I only have nine toes." --that same guy
Sleeping with random people is the same as soul searching, right? Ps that wasn't a team name suggestion.
Surely the maintenance men have seen worse than that condom right
Only you could make a stripper uncomfortable by eye fucking her too much.
I SHOULD NOT BE HAVING AN EXISTENTIAL CRISIS OVER PIZZA
I shaved an Xmas tree into my junk.... I placed your present underneath.
I came twice and when I was done I petted his head and said "you did good kid you did good" and just laid back smiling. Tell me I'm not awesome.
We’ve got a propane heater on our back porch if you want to come over and eat a McRib in peace
Sorry. Im too sleepy to penis.
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