we were wasted and he didn't have a condom so he called the front desk and asked for one. They didn't "officially" have them but the night manager happened to have one in his wallet. He brought it to the room with two mints.
The sun is out and the snow is finally starting to melt here... Vodka bottles keep popping up everywhere. Guess it's the college version of burying nuts for the winter
Hindsight: maybe I should have included a few transitional texts in between talking about your son and my need to have sex. Do over?
she insisted i was the anonymous guy on formspring that kept asking to bang her
Clearly I went along with it
high in an attic. pig roast in 10.
Do you have any idea how hard it is to hit on your nurse while getting an HIV test.
I fell asleep after the worst sex of my life and now I'm snowed in with him. SEND HELP. CALL FEMA. GET ME OUT OF HERE.
That moment when your whole family facetimed you just moments before you threw up all over the entire living room
I'm going to stop at grocery on the way home. I'm CRAVING wine from a sippy cup. We have neither wine nor sippy cups.
I woke up with gum stuck to my nipple piercings this morning.. So there's that.
Take home message: SPERM IS EVIL AND SHOULD NEVER EVER EVER BE ALLOWED UP ONE'S NOSE.
I woke up in the basement of a pizza restaurant... I would say the tequila hit me pretty hard.
It was great. Somehow, sleeping with her sister cured everything!
Is it ok to bone a former patient who is also a client? Since it is two negatives does that cancel and become a positive?
She told me I’m a “stunt cock.” I’m okay with that
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