Yeah...you.wanna.hang.out.tomorrow?My.space.button.is.broken.
everything was goin great until he pulled out his ed hardy lighter and smoked in my face like he was cool.
it's like you attract all the douchebags that nobody wants. people should thank you.
Dude...I'm drunk from Wednesday stilll.
Just found out I have to work new year's eve. It's like one final 'fuck you' from 2009.
Just saw some airport workers running through the terminal with liquor bottles. That's my kind of emergency.
Our penis' have led to more networking than mark zuckerberg.
We are keeping it ultra classy drinking 40s and playing croquet with 90s rap blasting in the back ground
All i'm saying is it doesn't matter how drunk you were, at 26 years of age you should always remember to take down you pants before you shit in the toilet
Wearing the 'Let's Party' thong feels weird without you...
Whiskey dick has taught us to be smart with our time.
Talking to friends parents while buying all the things needed for Jell-O shots. classic
I have six new people in my phone that I don't remember adding. One of them is "Bourbon Yeah." Successful evening?
my liver is dry heaving
Bitch I slept on the ground 2 nights running
I hope no one at work can tell or smell that I have tequila in my hair and I haven't showered for days
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