capt morgan doesn't hurt if you honestly believe it's golden flavored kool-aid.
My professor just gave everyone in the class extra credit... except for the kid wearing the Cubs hat
Three of the best words ever! Cocaine. Research. Study.
I'm sorry I put you in the washing machine. I honestly thought you would fit.
Yeah. Rock bottom was him passing out and saying "are you putting a condom on me?" and me covering his mouth and saying shhhhh�
Overall win. We all know who got to sleep on the concrete outside of Denny's with you.
So the bartender from Applebees totally looks like he would take his clothes off for $40
I like how you possess the gift that turns normal guys into strippers
Yo I found your batman costume.... It was in my pool with a shitload of beer cans
I FINALLY HAVE A REASON TO DYE MY PUBES BLUE!!!
and if planning a fake elopement keeps me from fucking strangers and doing drugs, i think it's good for me
He just kept mumbling that he was too drunk for society and then he peed in a bush
Driving, getting head and talking to your boss on the phone is not a good combination. I nearly died
if i drink i'll go into liver failure but ok
totally worth it, dude its $1 pbr
Why is there a mildly painful bruise on my back?
You slipped off the sink last night.
Why was I on the sink......?
;)
He’s got a big dick and a big ego. This could be fun
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