Without porn, I would have few hobbies.
You admitted to me in secrecy that you want to jerk off a unicorn.
Do you ever think that bumblebee is the gay transformer?
Every day of my life.
I think my penis got bigger when i lost weight
I just saw a fat chick walking across campus talking to herself and licking her lips. Diet season is scary.
I had a dream about a turtle sitting on top of a horse skull. I'm certain its a symbol for my dead sex life. Trust me.
The secrurity code on my debit card is 420, can not lose this card.
Do you think royal wedding drunk calls for wine or tequila?
I had to feed him the pizza because he was too blazed to do it himself
when you greet her, try not to lead with "this night will end with you on top of me". first impressions, bro.
It would just be icing on the fucked up cake we're baking, if he got me pregnant.
We met a guy named Raymond. You called him ramen all might and told him you would eat him up, "like sex, on a budget."
I almost got on a bus to Langley Air Force Base. 99% sure that's not where I wanna be.
If the world ends and i have no vodka please just kill me.
I asked him if we could have sex sometime and he sent me a three page long text about his feelings for me. that's the only possible situation I've ever run into where a "k" response would have been more appropriate.
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