Yeah true. Damn vaginas. They're ruining the world.
just took a cab, driver just asked what i'd been drinking- i said vodka, he said "can't do vodka-drunk, it makes me feel like i'm giving birth to myself" ...no comment
just bought miller high life, hungry man dinners, and a bottle of lube. you win life, you win.
Is it weird that I miss finding cum in my bed?
The seats are awesome but you see two of each player.
I just turned in a 4 page paper spelling absolute as "absolut" every single time. I'm an alcoholic
My vagina has become a graveyard for my brother's friendships...
my mom just found my flavored lube in the basement. she gave me a lecture about how "giving head is degrading" omg i feel sooooo bad for my dad
he ran me a hot bath. i thought i was in a pot and was going to be eaten. i was strangely ok with this
Your "OraGel will numb anything" theory was the worst thing I ever believed in.
I've reached the slutty point of no return. And it feels like multiple orgasms and coke lines
Great. Now I'm always going to be the roommate that boned a guy with a third nipple.
I would feel bad sleeping with her unless all of her personalities were on board with it.
do we own a ladder
We do not.
then how am i on the roof
I woke up to 76 pages of e's, r's, d's, and f's from when I fell asleep for 3 hours on my laptop keyboard trying to write that paper.
Randomize
