just had a super intense, drunken debate about which blink182 member is the most fuckable. i got so mad i left the room. new low.
UPDATE: In a passionate fit of self love, I brought myself to orgasm under the moon on my 7th floor balcony, ejaculating between the rungs towards the ground.
Unfortunately, I did not realize that most of it would end up on the balcony below mine.
At least you don't cum in color.
Michelle found a bong in the garbage and sold it to my mom
I don't know what your problem is but seriously you're a cunt for throwing up that song on your page. It's rude as fuck
omg its myspace i didnt think anyone took that seriously anymore
So I've officially decided that I AM that drunken mistake that girls hate themselves for in the morning.
why are there beer bottles in my dishwasher?
then they caught me trying to hide the turtle in the fridge
All I've consumed over the last couple days is Vanilla Coke, semen, and Coors. I don't think today will be any different.
If turning my entire backyard into a slip-n-slide is wrong then I don't wanna be right
On the oral sex Super Bowl board I drew 7 and 1. If I get lucky, someone will be swallowing during Madonna's half time. I'm sure she'd approve.
They're showing aladdin at the bar my birthday is complete
You also once spent an entire hour explaining the origin of the strip steak to me.
My vagina is no longer accepting new clients.
You sat outside petting a picture of your cat for hours... not even the real thing... just a picture.
Steven and I talked about running for office again today. It's fucked that my 3 dream jobs are marijuana bakery owner, bar owner, and president.
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