Just saw the true definition of the muffin top and camel toe all on one person at the DC zoo... Tried to take a pic but she got away..
do you ever facebook stalk someone so much you think their inside jokes are yours?
sitting in an airport in detroit. just saw a commercial for detroit tourism with kid rock as a spokesman. reason # 1458 to never visit this city.
Our cab driver just admitted to beating up kids in the 60's who didn't smoke pot...
the kid next to me in training is drinking sangria. its 9am here in case you couldnt calculate. its going to be a good year.
It's official. I am the proud owner of his very own sex tape. Amateur awesome porn or awful delete-me-now porn? Come over help me decide.
I just sat there and watched paula deen's face melt for an hour.
currently waiting for her to check in on Facebook, the second she does I'm there. someone is getting laid tonight
I'm not stalking, she is pretty much begging me to come find her if she checks in
honestly i just want a cigarette and someone to go down on me... are you interested in helping with either of those
COME HERE WE MELTED A CORONA BOTTLE WITH FIREWORKS
I have chicken nuggets, lube and brand new batteries, he can stay at work charting all weekend for all I care, I'm set.
Just used the pen i got in my signing ceremony to pack down my bowl. coach would be proud
Hopefully he gets to dig deep into my body, before he digs deep into my past ..
You walked into the frat house and screamed "whose down to fuck" i think they were more intimidated than anything
Hey this is your roommate. You know the one that let you have sex with her while you called out your exs name and cried?
I have no recollection of that. You must have the wrong number. P.s. your thongs still on the ceiling fan.
Randomize
