Ikea night.
?
Insert tab A into swedish slot B
but what if he tries to talk dirty to me with the lisp?
soooo we both peed the bed last night...
We just watched planet earth in marine bio. And our prof told us that was all we were doing on 420
Only mom could turn an abortion day into a shopping day
All I know is that it's pretty damn mean to put a glass wall in a bar.
ME TOO. Am adrunk madr out qith. White guy. Guy de white. Blanco chico. Chico de blanco
We won't have time to talk.. I'll be rolling you a blunt and you'll be getting naked.
I have a half pound of weed, a case of beer, 8 frozen pizzas and a hard dick. You have a high tech super-bong and a chest of sex toys. That's our vacation week right there.
I want to tell everyone I've ever met about how he him picking me up and fucking me against the wall was the highlight of my life. Worst lesbian ever.
I also slapped not one but two bananas on the ass, twerked in public, and I think I made out with someone
Honestly I have a huge freedom boner right now and if I came it would be red white and blue
I'm sitting on the toilet eating a taco... I feel like a female Elvis.
That's so awful of me. Instead of comforting her I masturbated in front of my ex-boyfriend.
What did you give up for lent?
Diet and excersize. And I'm never going back...
Randomize
