she gave me one of her senior pics and told me specifically to give it to you. In other words she still wants to suck your dick.
My last google search last night was 'vodka swimming pool'.
Just found a keg and a mini-bike in our garage, this couldn't possibly go wrong
Just rolled over and found your boyfriend in bed with me. Is mine at your house?
I have no idea what to do about this. He has a power over me and I think its called his tongue.
you should be careful. everyone knows your chances of pregnancy increase by 100 percent when youre the daughter of a religious figure
I keep having to have that awkward "I don't want to have sex with you" convo. I thought wearing sweatpants was suppose to prevent this situation..
The last bar we left there was a sausage stand right outside and I apparently felt bad those guys were working that late, so I bought a $9 sausage, gave it to some drunk kid and said "I support local businesses!!" I'd say I've done my civic duty.
He raised his arm and dropped it in his sleep to smack himself awake. He knows his phone has an alarm clock right?
Ummm didn't i have pubes when i went to bed last night?
Did he seem like the type of guy that would maybe take weed as payment?
Professor just informed us that she can't come to class today because her daughter broke her glasses and she can not see where she is going. Am I still drunk from this weekend?
turns out putting a tie on my unicorn onesie didn't make it acceptable "formal wear" and I found salsa in my cup holder
he went down on me while I ate Oreos. I don't know what caused the orgasm.
not being a booty call is very strange. Who knew there was so much time for activities at night!
Randomize