On a scale of one to trashy, how is this: Got drunk, gave a guy a hand job. In the middle of the bar
I think you broke the trashy scale
She forced me to throw up so it would "rejuvenate" me. It worked and then we took six more shots and did a keg stand. You know what I call that? Friendship.
You remember those guys we called the police on after they stole our keg? Turns out one of them is a student instructor in one of my classes. Figuring out how best to use this information.
He looks like the kind of guy that would jack off to weird things.
I just put up a picture on my dorm room wall of that ginger you hooked up with to remind myself that everyone makes mistakes
Also, drinking coors light. Fuck that. Fuck that in the fucking face.
She dresses cool and she's mean. And she has fake boobs I feel like I can relate to her on so many levels.
You should probably stop your little brother from ruining thanksgiving. I just caught him trying to stuff a cake in a drawer... And now he's puking.
just found out that she named her cat after me.
I'm drunk and I have your birth certificate
one more hour of this work bullshit and I'm off to get high with your cat.
the kid next to me in math class is drawing gay porn. it's good, but that is beside the point
He used the ring emoji and we've gone out four times. What is my life.
Keep two things coming: nudes and puppy pictures
Lately I've been very attracted to Kevin Jonas because he's like...less hot than Joe, but he's this healthy mix of both Joe and Nick. It looks like he's finally growing into himself.
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