it always starts out as a suggestion then three hours later I have cum in my eye.
Awww. A guy on the train just took his coat off so his girlfriend could throw up into it. Who says chivalry is dead?
I'm not trying to go crazy tonight either. I just want to go out, have a few drinks, meet up with my ex-boyfriend and get fingered or something.
I'll give her a pass for the first one, but after the second threesome, she should have learned her lesson.
She posted on her FB that he moved out...It's like she wants me to fuck him.
We are there now. They have a giant cock and balls with an eagles face and wings.
Some random at the bar just whispered in my ear that he wants to eat me out while on bath salts....
Kinda forgot to grab tampons. Mind if I run to my house to get one? I'd rather not turn my green skinny jeans Christmas colors
It's not really the holidays until I raid the medicine cabinet. Happy hydrocodone to me
And a merry methadone to all
Well I'm sleeping with two of them cause they have nice cars. And the third cause she has a big rack. I'm just really waiting for it all to blow up in my face so I can find a girl I'm actually interested in
Are you aware that you called me "Sexy clit lady" last night?
In an unrelated matter, im gonna eat you out so much later.
Oh good, bag of butt plugs is in my predictive text now
Typing the whole thing out was getting to be such a chore
I AM NOT LOSING TO SOME FICTIONAL CROSSDRESSER
Dammit. the window insulation sheets are too small for my windows. Yet again I am disappointed by size
Randomize
