I judge my drunkenness on my brickbreaker playing skills. I'm winning. Suck it.
dude chill. it wont be anything like your seventh grade birthday party.
is it gross that my labia hangs so much that guys can't find my clit?
you know i'm gay cause i'd have sex with lady gaga. what straight man would say that?
how does a 20 year old who hasnt gone through puberty yet score the game winning goal? fuck sidney crosby and his small nuts.
Yeah I said my new jacket was waterproof, not puke through your nose proof.
holy shit thats the most artistic dick pic ever
I see your smile in the face of every drunk that senses he's about to slay a troll.
i swear, you were born with a blunt in one hand and somebody else's wallet in the other.
He wanted me to blow him while he did curls and looked at himself in the mirror. Not sure if gay or ego maniac.
Nothing makes me prouder to be liberal and socialist than the idea of desecrating the memory of Ronald Reagan
After a beer I realize now I may have shared too much about my obsession with ghosts with my therapist this morning.
My bookbag can hold 30+ beers. They shoulda put that on the tag bc its a big selling point
Found out that I went to the same elementary school as the guy I'm hooking up with. Kosher or no
PSA Do not blow dry your junk.
Randomize
